Putting Pen To Paper

I like this one.

Michael, I use Paint Shop Pro.

I liked the idea of making photo poems so thought I'd try it myself. The photo is from a Printmaster collection and not my own.

Thank you Michael. That's a good suggestion re "still".

Stephanie, thanks for posting your work to PPTP. Please also post comments on our other writers' entries.

This is a very nice article, and I call it that because it reads like an inspirational magazine article to me. Have you had it published? If not, you should try. I'm sure Martha Stewart must have her own magazine so that would be a good starting point since she was your inspiration.

I can sympathize with being a natural worrier and your suggestions on how to overcome it by immersing yourself in something delightful, creative, and fulfilling is a worthwhile and excellent solution. I've repressed a lot of my worries in quilting and poetry and can attest to the values of keeping busy.

Thank you Ruth for reading my article and commenting on it.

I haven't tried to have the article published yet. I wasn't sure if the format was quite right. That is a good suggestion to try and have it published in one of Martha Stewarts magazines. I'm not sure if it's in the right format/style for that, or if it's good enough, but it would be worth checking out.

I feel like the article needs a little more work, but I'm not sure what else to do with it at this point.

Well, I don't know what needs to e added. I might also suggest a venue such as Family Circle or Good Housekeeping, or any of the supermaket magazine rack family/cooking oriented magazines as a publishing possibility. You'll neer know if you don't try. Do you have a Writer's Market book so you can research addresses and guidelines for submissions?

I have to admit that I've read very little poetry and I know next to nothing about it.

I did enjoy your poem. In very few words it really captured the modern experience of flying. The frustrations & boredom of the experience- yet you weren't whinning about it. You were just stating facts. That's the impression I got anyway.

For some reason I feel like I do my best thinking/writing in planes. Maybe it has something to do with the altitude?

The altitude or the attitude possibly... i.e., nothing better to do and lots of interesting people to watch and from whom you may find inspiration.

I don't normally write anything buy rhyming poetry, but I'm struggling this summer trying to learn to write more non-rhyming pieces. It is a struggle.

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Michael, thanks for your comment. Like I've mentioned before, I'm learning and experimenting with (for me) new areas of poetry, both in form and format. Your comments make sense and are appreciated.

This essay about my cats has been floating around in my head for almost a week. This morning I wrote it down. Please feel free to comment or critque as you like. This might be something I could get published in pet magazine or maybe a humor magazine. Maybe you have some ideas on where I might try.

It's very funny.

The last assignment of the class I'm taking at UW was to write a story that was almost totallly dialogue. "Dad's Visit" is the result. Irt is another chapter in my "The Path" story which you'll find over on That Looks Like A Story.

http://thatlookslikeastory.blogspot.com/2006/07/writerrific-1-assignment-6.html

I don;t know if that long link will work, so here's a shorter one.

http://thatlookslikeastory.blogspot.com/

All comments and critigues are welcomed. I turn this on at 7pm on Aug 7th.

David, this is an exciting glimpse into what this story might one day be. I do think there needs to be more story between the original "Path" and this "Dad's Visit".. you know, how did he first contact his dad there after he bought the lighthouse and how he came to grips with that. This story makes it feel quite commonplace for them to meet there, but how did they get to that point? And how did he learn that pounding on the table would send the spirits away? When Dad says "protect yourself", I half expected him to hold up a cross like warding off a vampire or something, but apparently pounding on the table was enough to do it? It felt like there should have been something more involved there... like there could be a lot more action in this scene if it were allowed to grow to its full potential.

I like it Dave. So, what does aaron have to save his father from?

Ruth...Thanks for the kind comments. Oh yes, there's a good bit more between the end of "The Path" and the start of "Dad's Visit". I think it's lurking around in my brain somewhere now. The last two weeks have been a desert for my creativity and I'd almost given up on this assignment altogether, but here at the last minute I got an idea and dashed this off in a couple of hours. That's lightning-fast for me.

Since this assignment was for a "dialogue only" story I purposfully left out a lot of detail. Even so, it kind of got naration heavy toward the end. I'll need to flesh this out a bit more for actual inclusion in the story, but I DO LIKE the bones of this piece. I like the ghosts lurking in the mirror instead of floating around in our world. I see the mirrors as windows on our world through which the spirits can watch us.

It really is interesting what people read into a story...or maybe what we write into a story subconsciously. The drumming on the table was only to drown out the wails of the dark spirits. It was never intended as "protection" but now that it's there and you've pointed it out, I like the idea. Perhaps rhythmic basso sounds disrupt their power in some way. Perhaps the table he's working on is specially designed to resonnate for this reason. I really do need a writing partner to help with my creativity. Thanks for being there for me. :-)

Fred...Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the piece.

According to real history, three or four coastguardsmen died in 1942 when there were changing lighthouse keepers. I haven't been able to find out any details, but I assume there was some freak storm or something. In the story, perhaps there was an entire ship that perished. In any event, these spirits have been very angry at their condition and it was, in fact, they who caused the father's death in "The Path".

Since then, his grascious and peaceful spirit has been a calming influence to them, but now that the lighthouse is once again occupied their anger is growing and being surrounded by all that hate and fear is taking a toll on Aaron's dad's spirit. Before this scene and after, there will probably be scenes that show the dad losing his temper with Aaron or manifesting some minor destruction in the real world...something out of character. A spirit with enough anger and hate and fear will be able to cross through the mirror and cause trouble in our world. So, Aaron has to save his dad's spirit from the influences of the others and probably set him free to go on to heaven. He also has to work to save himself and probably his mom (somehow I just have to get her to the lighthouse) from any spirits that manage to breech the mirror.

How does that sound? Not bad for making a lot of it up on the fly. :-)

Ruth...I went in a reworded the drumming to spell out what was happening.

Fred...I caught a misspelled word that you missed. Horse should have been hoarse. I've corrected it now. :-)

Penitentman...What is Clustering? How does it work? What are the benefits and drawbacks?

The first I'd seen it was in a book called "Writing the Natural Way."

The author's website talks about the process here: http://www.gabrielerico.com/Main/ClusteringSampleVignettes.htm

The words I clustered around for these 2 pieces were "sharp" and "hard".

Hmm... so that link didn't seem to work right, at least for me. Let's try this:

LINK

An interesting process.

In William Stout, I note that sentences 3 and 4 have no verb. Can they stand alone like that, or should they have been phrases separated by commas or semicolons in the previous sentence?

Hey Fred...Good job. I think you handled Max's personality very well.

The only change I'd suggest is picking a different name for Jenny or Jack. Two J names had me a little confused at first.

As for a title, how about "Enough Is Enough"?

I think I figured it out when Rachel said "Let's go for a ride".

One of my classmates wrote a very similar story a couple of weeks ago. Jimmy was lost in the woods and couldn't find his mommy. He met a couple in the park and then wandered away from them when they started arguing about whetheror not they should try to help him. He met a scary man in a white van who offered him a cookie but he ran away from the stranger. Then he finally found his way home to mom only to have "mom" scratch behind his ear and put his food dish down on the floor where he could get it. Yup, Jimmy was a puppy.

That was good Fred. I even reread the invisible collar thing twice and was thinking what kind of S&M story is this before I read the dog part!!

What a cute read and funny too! I was all set to start making suggestions about how this guy should maybe have a different speech pattern or something to make it read a little better... Then I found out this guy is a dog! So who knows how a dog thought/speak sounds anyway? It didn't occur to be until the second reading why leaving home was so painful. It wasn't the breaking heart of leaving, it was the pain of breaking through the invisible fence! You got me on this one. Good job!

Haha, this is great Fred!

So many hints tied in there and still a surprise.

Well done!

Yes -- I thought this story was going somewhere else too -- couldn't wait to see if Rachel was taking Max home :)))

re: Title... that's got me scratching my head -- how about "The Ride Home".

How about "Taken for a ride"?

A fitting double-meaning.

Thanks everyone for all the positive feedback, and for the title suggestions as well.

Still thinking about it though.

Great story - love the surprise ending. I agree, Jack and Jenny was a little confusing. But that was great!!

i like "the Ride Home" as a title.

I've decided on Taken For A Ride. Thank you penitentman.

Barbara, these are good for a beginner. You will need to stay focused on the syllable count though. The first traditional haiku has six syllables in the first line instead of five. Perhaps it might be written:

Look up to the sky

What do you think?

Oh, you are right. I didn't even notice that. And some words it is hard to tell how many syllables they have. I can't think of an example right now. Anyway, I'll try to write some more this weekend.

Well -- I used the tree picture again -- but it's not a story about chinatown -- that story is still running around in circles in my head.

As usual -- the feedback I'd like to get is what you liked and didn't like about the story.

/p

What I didn't like:
What I did like: Everything, only I might like to know more about the Vixen... maybe another story, eh? I've never heard of that vehicle.

I particularly liked that I get to point out a misspelled word in your story this time... "doubley" should be "doubly". Gee that felt good! But then I got caught up in watching olive trees being planted and crashed into by a crazy female driver and forgot to look for any other typos, etc. Guess there must not have been any ;-)))

And you know what? I really doubt that you've seen everything yet!

Ruth... tx ... re: the vixens... there's a fan site for vixens here: http://www.vixenrv.org/ -- the left side of the roof tilts up, so it is possible to stand inside one of these things. It also has a full bathroom inside!!!!!
/p

I like this one alot. I think it all fits together nicely. I like that you use the photos.

Today I went to a new poetry group in Crystal River, FL. Part of the program was the exercise I just posted here. It was "an approach to the persona poem and the dramatic monologue". We had ten minutes to complete each section. Again, (as some of you have read on another blog) I chose to write about Lucille, my husband's mother who recently passed. So tell me what you think of these quickly produced pieces. All comments welcome.

I think they're excellent!!!!

And excellent advice... don't ask me to forget, as there is still time to remember.

Indeed -- I've only lost 3 people close to my heart -- they all left in a big bang 20 years ago, but still I find myself in awe about how those three continue to influence my life.

I think for 10 minutes of forced writing, they are very good. I can't imagine someone saying to just come up with 2 poems and do it in the next 10 minutes!!!

I agree with Peter and Peggy. They are excellent and I don't know how you can do that in ten minutes. Maybe, if you already had these running through your head. But otherwise too much pressure.

The Ace Up My Sleeve - What a neat "power" piece! I just had to laugh as my husband used to live in a house with four children, he and his wife, and one bathroom. I would find it hard to exist with two people and one bathroom! I can just see his son sitting there with the girls outside begging for entrance... and flushing "just to be a tease". That is SO Michael.

As an assistant administrator here, David sends me the membership requests to read, so I had the pleasure of reading that piece before you posted it here. An advance giggle so to speak. I'm so glad you gave everyone the opportunity to see it.

Hair Shorts - I like this piece too, but with reservations. I love the cadence of the first stanza. It would be good if the whole piece had the same cadence throughout, but I tried copying it into Word and rewriting it, and could not do it myself throughout the entire piece.

I think there are many unnecessary words which could be cut, however, to bring the whole piece into a better flowing form, such as...

"I need cover in summer
but it can't be too warm
and extra heat in the winter
to weather the storm"

I think that stanza could be dropped completely as you've covered that concept in the previous two stanzas.

If you want to see my complete rewrite of this poem, let me know and I'll email it to you. If you're like me and sometimes don't want other people messing with your work, you can say that too.

I hope some of this may be of use to you.

I don't care about cadence and all that stuff. They were hilarious! Give me some more:)

very entertaining... that ace up my sleeve should definitely go in the PPTP hall of fame -- I thought that was heading in a completely different direction.

Hair shorts I wasn't as fond of... though that's quite a whacko visual you've dreamed up there... shorts made out of short hairs! I'm cringing just a little.

I thought the first one was very cute!! Didn't really get much out of the second one.