Putting Pen To Paper

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Dad's Visit

posted by WDavid at 8/06/2006 08:47:00 PM

Dad's Visit
by W. David MacKenzie
592 Words


A sense of warmth washed through the room and I smiled at the sound of my father's voice.

"You're making wonderful progress on the renovation, Son."

I looked up from the drum table I was sanding to see my father's face in the large mirror that hung on the wall directly in front of me. "Thanks, Dad. I always enjoyed watching you in the shop when I was a kid."

"I'm glad you kept it up."

"Well, I was a klutz in shop class, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of things, now." My father's face in the mirror smiled and I resumed my repetitive push and pull action with the sanding block. "When I moved in, I found the old lighthouse keeper's tool chest in the caisson room downstairs. Talk about some vintage tools."

"I'm surprised they weren't all rusted away."

"Not a chance. Each one was wrapped in its own oilcloth. They were clean as a whistle and they're a dream to use, even after being forgotten for fifty years."

"That guy knew how to take care of his tools." Dad said.

I pausedaten there.

Places like this little piece of France are what the Lower East Side is most loved for. Unfortunately, so many small places are being squeezed out. Grilled Cheese, formerly on Ludlow, bit the dust, some say due to rising rents, which we all know have become outrageously expensive.
The term is "gentrification." A Prime example of this is the Essex Street Market with new construction looming over it. Up, up up! Glossy, colorful, new, putting the squeeze on what has been....time for change.
l, new, putting the squeeze on what has been....time for change.
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6 Comments:

  • The last assignment of the class I'm taking at UW was to write a story that was almost totallly dialogue. "Dad's Visit" is the result. Irt is another chapter in my "The Path" story which you'll find over on That Looks Like A Story.

    http://thatlookslikeastory.blogspot.com/2006/07/writerrific-1-assignment-6.html

    I don;t know if that long link will work, so here's a shorter one.

    http://thatlookslikeastory.blogspot.com/

    All comments and critigues are welcomed. I turn this on at 7pm on Aug 7th.

    By Blogger WDavid, at 8/06/2006 04:45:00 PM  

  • David, this is an exciting glimpse into what this story might one day be. I do think there needs to be more story between the original "Path" and this "Dad's Visit".. you know, how did he first contact his dad there after he bought the lighthouse and how he came to grips with that. This story makes it feel quite commonplace for them to meet there, but how did they get to that point? And how did he learn that pounding on the table would send the spirits away? When Dad says "protect yourself", I half expected him to hold up a cross like warding off a vampire or something, but apparently pounding on the table was enough to do it? It felt like there should have been something more involved there... like there could be a lot more action in this scene if it were allowed to grow to its full potential.

    By Blogger Ruth, at 8/06/2006 04:54:00 PM  

  • I like it Dave. So, what does aaron have to save his father from?

    By Blogger Fred MacKenzie, at 8/06/2006 05:01:00 PM  

  • Ruth...Thanks for the kind comments. Oh yes, there's a good bit more between the end of "The Path" and the start of "Dad's Visit". I think it's lurking around in my brain somewhere now. The last two weeks have been a desert for my creativity and I'd almost given up on this assignment altogether, but here at the last minute I got an idea and dashed this off in a couple of hours. That's lightning-fast for me.

    Since this assignment was for a "dialogue only" story I purposfully left out a lot of detail. Even so, it kind of got naration heavy toward the end. I'll need to flesh this out a bit more for actual inclusion in the story, but I DO LIKE the bones of this piece. I like the ghosts lurking in the mirror instead of floating around in our world. I see the mirrors as windows on our world through which the spirits can watch us.

    It really is interesting what people read into a story...or maybe what we write into a story subconsciously. The drumming on the table was only to drown out the wails of the dark spirits. It was never intended as "protection" but now that it's there and you've pointed it out, I like the idea. Perhaps rhythmic basso sounds disrupt their power in some way. Perhaps the table he's working on is specially designed to resonnate for this reason. I really do need a writing partner to help with my creativity. Thanks for being there for me. :-)

    By Blogger WDavid, at 8/06/2006 07:35:00 PM  

  • Fred...Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the piece.

    According to real history, three or four coastguardsmen died in 1942 when there were changing lighthouse keepers. I haven't been able to find out any details, but I assume there was some freak storm or something. In the story, perhaps there was an entire ship that perished. In any event, these spirits have been very angry at their condition and it was, in fact, they who caused the father's death in "The Path".

    Since then, his grascious and peaceful spirit has been a calming influence to them, but now that the lighthouse is once again occupied their anger is growing and being surrounded by all that hate and fear is taking a toll on Aaron's dad's spirit. Before this scene and after, there will probably be scenes that show the dad losing his temper with Aaron or manifesting some minor destruction in the real world...something out of character. A spirit with enough anger and hate and fear will be able to cross through the mirror and cause trouble in our world. So, Aaron has to save his dad's spirit from the influences of the others and probably set him free to go on to heaven. He also has to work to save himself and probably his mom (somehow I just have to get her to the lighthouse) from any spirits that manage to breech the mirror.

    How does that sound? Not bad for making a lot of it up on the fly. :-)

    By Blogger WDavid, at 8/06/2006 07:45:00 PM  

  • Ruth...I went in a reworded the drumming to spell out what was happening.

    Fred...I caught a misspelled word that you missed. Horse should have been hoarse. I've corrected it now. :-)

    By Blogger WDavid, at 8/06/2006 08:08:00 PM  

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