posted by WDavid at 10/05/2006 01:52:00 PM
Outline for “Festival of Atlcualo”
by W. David MacKenzie
(c) 2006
Scene 1: Disaster at the Cenote
a. On the last day of Uayeb it is tradition for the priests of the city to gather at the cenote to make offerings of gold and food to the Lords of Xibalba asking them to close the gates to the underworld until the following year because it was believed that if the gates were left open tortured spirits from the underworld would flood out to wreak havoc in the world.
b. Dozens of priests and their seconds gather at the mouth of the cenote. One by one they say a prayer then step forward to drop their offerings into the gaping hole in the earth. Four heartbeats later the offering hits the water of the underground river and is carried to the Lords of Xibalba.
c. When Cocozca, the First of Tlaloc, steps to the lip of the cenote to make his offering the earth gives way and he drops into the chasm but manages to grasp the edge. Mazatl, the Second of Tlaloc, rushes to his aid but more earth gives way and both priests plummet into the darkness of the cenote to be carried as offerings to the Lords of Xibalba.
d. Everything happens so quickly that no one knows how to react, least of all Three-Crocodile, the young apprentice to Cocozca who had been hanging back to observe the ritual. Three-Crocodile is an orphan given to the temple of Tlaloc when his family was killed in a flood. Lord Cocozca is the only father he has ever known. Three-Crocodile is in shock at the loss. In the end Lord Tayauh, the First of Huitzilopochtli and High Priest of the city, proclaims that the Lords of Xibalba are satisfied with the sacrifice they have claimed and bids everyone to return to the city. Three-Crocodile is the last to leave.
Scene 2: A Guide for Cocozca
a. That night Three-Crocodile returns to the cenote to mourn the death of Cocozca, his foster father and teacher. He is afraid of the animals of the night like jaguars and bats but he feels he has an important task to accomplish for his friend.
b. Tradition holds that dogs are able to guide the spirits safely through the nine levels of the underworld and dogs were frequently sacrificed in crematory fires with the bodies of important citizens. Three-Crocodile has brought a jade status of a dog from Tlaloc’s temple and as he stands at the edge of the cenote he says a prayer for Cocozca and Mazatl then tosses the figurine into the pit.
c. Three-Crocodile considers throwing himself into the cenote as well. He is profoundly sad at the loss of Cocozca and feels unready to live his life without his mentor’s guidance. It would be so easy to take one step over the edge and follow Cocozca and Mazatl into the underworld. It would relieve him of worry and doubt and pain.
d. Deep inside, however, he feels that Tlaloc is guiding his life. The God of Rains and Water took his parents in a flood so that Three-Crocodile would be given to Tlaloc’s temple. With Cocozca and Mazatl plunging into the water at the bottom of the cenote, Three-Crocodile could see Tlaloc’s hand at work again. Now, with Three-Crocodile as the last person in the city consecrated to the God of Rain and Water, he would have to lead the ceremonies for Tlaloc’s Festival of Atlcualo which began in just two days. He had no doubt that this was Tlaloc’s will and no doubt that he was completely unready .
Scene 3: The High Priest’s Decision
(this scene was submitted for assignment #3)
a. The priests of the city, however, are full of doubt so Three-Crocodile and Lord Pochotl, First of Ehecatl, are called to a meeting with the city’s High Priest. Ehecatl, the God of Wind, plays a minor role in the rites of Atlcualo as he pushes the rains through the sky so they can fall upon the fields of maize.
b. Lord Tayauh has heard from other important priest and they feel it would be best to delay the festival so that a new First of Tlaloc can be summoned from the capital. Due to his age, they do not consider Three-Crocodile to be a priest. Lord Pochotl , however, has a different plan. He wants to conduct the ceremonies himself. He has been a part of the Festival of Atlcualo for many years and he believes that holding the ceremonies on schedule is the only way to appease Tlaloc. Lord Tayauh objects that Tlaloc will not find favor with the First of a minor god leading his ceremonies.
c. As the two men reach a tense impasse Three-Crocodile finally finds his voice and claims his right to lead the ceremonies. Lord Pochotl scoffs at the idea and ticks off the reasons the boy cannot lead the festival, but Three-Crocodile does not back down and states that as the only “priest” of Tlaloc remaining it is his right and obligation to serve.
d. Lord Tayauh, reluctant at first, finally agrees that Three-Crocodile is the only logical choice to appease Tlaloc by holding the ceremony on time and officiated by one consecrated to the god. Before the High Priest has even finished speaking, Lord Pochotl storms out of the meeting declaring that the boy will bring disaster down upon them all.
Scene 4: Reflection in the Temple
a. Twilight and braziers illuminate the temple anteroom as Three-Crocodile prepares himself for the dawn ceremony. There is no one to help dress him as he once helped Cocozca so he pays special attention to the details so as to not offend Tlaloc.
b. Nearby, the sacrificial infant lays peacefully in it’s stone bed. Earlier Three-Crocodile gave it the intoxicating pulque drink to calm it and covered it in ceremonial blue paint. Tradition says that a child born during Uayeb has no destiny and as such it is our duty to free their souls so they can return to the gods. Therefore, these children are always confiscated at birth and held for ceremonial sacrifice.
c. Looking at this helpless infant, Three-Crocodile is reminded of what he must have been like when he was spared by the flood. He could just as easily been given to a temple for sacrifice but it was Cocozca’s actions that dedicated him to Tlaloc in an enduringly useful way, and for that Three-Crocodile is grateful ad he believes that Tlaloc too is grateful.
d. Tucking the sacrificial blade into his belt and cradling the peaceful child in his outstretched hands, Three-Crocodile strides out of the anteroom and onto the temple courtyard at the top of the pyramid to meet the approaching dawn.
Scene 5: The Sacrifice to Tlaloc
a. Three-Crocodile walks to the altar stone in the near-dawn light. On his right is Lord Pochotl and to his left is Lord Tayauh, both in ceremonial garb. Before him, at the base of the pyramid and extending out into the cobble-stoned Avenue of the Gods, are the citizens of the city. The wealthy and influential are close in, the common folk stretch back like an ocean of humanity.
b. As the first light of the sun breaks over the far off peaks, Three-Crocodile holds the infant up high and the crowd roars its approval. After five days of inactivity and fearful quiet during Uayeb they are eager for excitement and the sound of their own voices. Three-Crocodile lowers the infant to the altar stone; it's small body taking up only a tiny portion of the rock slab. He then withdraws the sacrificial dagger from his belt and holds it high. The noise of the crowd swells again.
c. Looking down at the infant, Three-Crocodile's mind wanders back over his life and the events of the last two days. At each point Tlaloc has guided events to bring him to this juncture. There is a greater message here that is eluding him, a task the Tlaloc wants him to accomplish, a task for which he is specifically skilled, and uniquely placed. Everything has been arranged by the god to make this sacrifice a crucial event.
d. Immersed in his thoughts, Three-Crocodile has not notice that the random noise of the crowd has given way to a throbbing chant. "Tlaloc, Tlaloc, Tlaloc..." reverberates from the numerous pyramid temples along the Avenue of the Gods. Just as the sound finally penetrates Three-Crocodile's visions, Lord Pochotl rushes to the boy's side and attempts to wrest the knife from Three-Crocodile's hands so that he can complete the sacrifice himself.
e. In that moment, Tlaloc's will becomes clear to Three-Crocodile and the spirit of the god drives him. He catches Pochotl off guard and off balance and slams him down hard on the altar stone. Pochotl is stunned and his breath is knocked out of him. Time slows down. Pochotl lies on his back, on the altar stone, gasping for air; the crowd is deathly silent at the strange turn of events; Lord Tayauh gasps and steps back in astonishment. In that attenuated moment Three-Crocodile thrusts the sacrificial blade deep into Pochotl's abdomen right below the rib cage, makes a few deft movements with the knife to enlarge the wound, and plunges his arm up into Pochotl’s chest cavity as the dieing priest screams. Three-Crocodile grasps the hot beating heart of Ehecatl’s First and rips it from his body.
f. Murmurs ripple through the stunned crowd as Three-Crocodile reaches down to pick up the infant by the scruff of it’s neck then holds both the heart and the child high in tribute to Tlaloc. The boy’s voice rises until it booms out from one end of the Avenue of the Gods to the other. “Tlaloc has come to me in a vision and anointed me as his First. He has set me the task of protecting the children of Uayeb. He has set me the task of punishing those who would interfere with his worship. Henceforth the child born during Uayeb will be consecrated to the service of Tlaloc that he will have abundant priests to honor his glory. Henceforth the criminal will be Tlaloc’s feast, the evildoer’s blood will bring the life-giving rain, the heretic’s heart will crisp in Tlaloc’s fire.” With these final words, Three-Crocodile throws Pochotl’s steaming heart into the temple pyre and cradles the writhing infant in the crook of his arms. The crowd erupts in cheers as the rites and beliefs of a people begin to change.
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Thursday, October 05, 2006
Outline for “Festival of Atlcualo”
3 Comments:
The assignment for week four to write an outline for the story we plan to turn in for assignment 6
By
WDavid, at 10/05/2006 01:56:00 PM
Here are the class comments for the outline.
Instructor DeChancie: OK, I read over the outline, and it looks pretty good, but let me ask this. Is this background historical, a variant of Meso-American history, or something you invented based on history? Or is the setting supposed to be another world/planet? I don't know enough about the subject to tell.
WDavid: This outline is for a story set in the world I created in assignment 2. It's a world I've been toying with for a long time and it's finally coming to fruition in sync with this class. You can read more about it at www.firstempires.com but, in brief, it is an alternate history where the native cultures of North and South America are as advanced and robust as any European country of the 15th and 16th century. The culture I'm exploring first is a melding of most of the meso-american cultures, Olmec, Mayan, and Aztec are the strongest influences.
Instructor DeChancie: OK, now I know. This is an "alternate history" story. Good. How would history have gone if....and then you posit alternative historical events. Sure. Now I understand. This idea has been done, and I wish I could cite something for you, but I can't right off the top of my head. Makes little difference. The theme is a long way from being exhausted. It's a fascinating premise, and you should continue to develop it. I like the idea of someone in this culture coming to the independent realization that there is something wrong with human sacrifice. That is a very nice hook on which to hang the whole story.
Cathy Chance: WDavid: This is an interesting story and I think it's really workable if you amp the tension throughout. What does 3-Croc have at stake? What's the risk to him if he doesn't kill the infant? ould he potentially be sacrificed himself? I think there has to be a real threat to him in making this moral decision. Also, I think you need to show some sort of revelation, rather than just facile justification to kill his antagonist and save the baby. To me, this felt more like a telling of myth than a fantasy story. You've given us here the background to the sacrifices performed in Aztec (I think) society. The "sense of wonder" is a little lacking. I'm sorry if this comes across as a little harsh. It's not meant to be. The flow of the story is here and you've already shown us you can create the characters. Keep working on it.
Kim Huett: I mostly have questions after reading this intriguing plot sequence: Does the reader get a sense that these gods really exist and have a hand in the human affairs? Or is it a situation where the priests successfully impose their religious interpretation on the people? Or neither? In 1c, I wonder if the chasm of divine or natural origin? Around 5e, I begin to feel like something is off…. All that plot sequence was leading up to this crisis with the sacrificial babe? And then a few plot sequences later, the story’s ended and 3-Croc is a major change agent in this meso-american religion? It seems too tidy. Perhaps the story could begin closer to that templetop moment, and you could explore the responses of the other priests and the people and show him sweating a little as he makes these bold moves. It seems too smooth and easy. You could show just how one pulls off something like this. It would be neat to read the story.
laf: Well, I'm either getting used to the names -- or they're easier to absorb when they're more spread out (I didn't find it to be a problem when going through the outline) :-) Overall, seems a tight story ... I am curious about the gods (real or only in the priests mind) since Tlaloc's will plays such a key roll in the climax of the story? Does he also lend the boy the strength to take out Pochotl? (even catching him by surprise, there would have been quite a size disparity between them (if he's still using a birth name, he's 7 or less, right?))
10/2/2006 9:45:20 PM
Joe: WDavid - I don't have much to offer here, beyond continuing encouragement. I'm totally engrossed with the premise, the setting, and the characters. You're an alchemist, concocting formulas for elements that would be fatal in the hands of another writer. This story is your own, continue to assert your mastery over it, and ignore any nagging little voices that might distract you from doing so. Keep writing, I'll keep reading. Peace - Joe.
WDavid: LAF...the reference I used said that the giving of an adult name happened after twenty of their 260 day sacred years. They considered the nine months of gestation (the base of their 260 day calendar) to have been his first year, so nineteen more makes the child 13.5 years old by our calendar. Since their mathmatical system is base 20 (ours is base 10) that seems a logical time. I made him 13 for the story and on the verge of his naming ceremony. Young, but not too young to accomplish the task. As for the act of taking down Pochotl, in moments of crisis humans are able to draw from untapped reserves of strength and endurance so why not here when Three-Crocodile believes his god's vision is threatened by Pochotl's interference? As for the reality of the gods...I may come across as a heretic here to many people, but I think their gods are about as real as the gods of our time. Visions and messages from on high come in all shapes and sizes and are left to the interpretation of the receiver. Who can say if your urge to have a corned beef sandwich for lunch is just a tasty idea or a vision placed there by a devine being? Is it simple hunger or god's symbolic way of telling you that vegetarianism is the devil's work? It is the prophet's ability to get his interpretation of the message across to a receptive audience at a key moment that gives the message weight and power.
WDavid: Kim...I think a lot of your questions are addressed in my message to LAF. As for the tidiness, yes, perhaps it is. I see Three-Crocodile's actions coming at a key moment when the people are hyped for a bloody ceremony and when it takes a new turn that both spares some of their children and still gives them bloody ceremonies, they're ready to accept it. There are, by all accounts, an ecstatic people and the supernatural is in every part of their daily lives. Also, their raised to be obedient to authority, so I don't see this as a big stretch.
WDavid: Cathy...You got me...this IS a fable. The "twist" if you want to call it that, that I was saving for the end, is that the story is a cultural myth that a father is telling to his son as a bed time story to explain both how sacrifices used to be and how they evolved to protect the children and punish the evil doers while still paying homage to the gods. For those of you who say "That's a sick and twisted bedtime story, dude!" then you shold try reading the original fairy tales of our own cultures. :-)
By
WDavid, at 10/05/2006 01:57:00 PM
Sounds like you have a plan man. It's coming right along and I know it's going to be great. I must say though that the idea of an outline has changed a lot since I went to school back in dino days. We used to write an outline in a few brief words and maybe a sentence, not paragraphs. Oh well, time marches on and drags us along in the dust... Keep up the good work!
By
Ruth, at 10/09/2006 01:34:00 PM
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