Putting Pen To Paper

Monday, July 31, 2006

The Lamppost

posted by WDavid at 7/31/2006 05:30:00 AM

The Lamppost
By W David MacKenzie


“I wasn't always a drugged-out thug, you know.” Carlo whispered to me as he raised his head slightly. Our eyes locked. “I was a kid once, a good kid, a clown even.”
I studied Carlo's watery red-rimmed eyes. I peered past the green irises and tried to see beyond the tainted soul of the multiple-murderer to find the innocent youth he was remembering, but I lost my way among the dead bodies. I closed my own eyes and swallowed hard, determined to get on with my job, but Carlo was still staring at me when I opened them again.
“I remember one winter when it snowed and my best buddy...” a brief smile danced across his face. “He dared me to lick the frozen lamppost and...” Carlo's already soft voice trailed off and he blinked, freeing me from his hypnotic grip.
I turned my head so I wouldn’t meet his gaze again then moved behind him and busied myself with the routine tasks. I tightened the bands around Carlo's head and chest then moved to the controls on the wall behind him. I stood ready, but his eyes and his words still haunted me.
The warden’s perfunctory voice came from the overhead speakers. “Carlo Anthony Fuguerro, do you have any final words?” A heart beat passed, then another, and another, but Carlo was silent. A red light blinked on and I flipped the switch, closed my eyes, and tried to forget the snow, the lamppost, and my childhood buddy.
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click to post a comment or read comments from: Blogger WDavid, Blogger Peter, Blogger Ruth, Blogger penitentman,

4 Comments:

  • Today, I entered this story in the "Short-Short Fiction" contest from New Millenium Writings.

    http://www.newmillenniumwritings.com/awards.php

    This is a contest Ruth told me about and urged me to enter. I just squeaked in under the deadline. I'm such a procrastinator.

    I didn't write anything new this week so maybe I'll take this one to the class tonight and let them read it out loud. After last week's fourteen page story, this little 250 word piece will probably be a welcomed surprise. :-)

    By Blogger WDavid, at 7/31/2006 05:36:00 AM  

  • Indeed it was a surprise -- a short story like that... and a good one -- very thought provoking.

    By Blogger Peter, at 7/31/2006 06:11:00 PM  

  • I love this piece. I says so much in so few words. I hope the contest judges see how wonderful it is too.

    By Blogger Ruth, at 7/31/2006 06:33:00 PM  

  • The first time through, I enjoyed the descriptions and the tone felt very poetic to me.

    However, I couldn't really identify with the narrator until the very last sentence... at which point I had to read it again and loved it.

    Because it is very short, it works pretty damn well. That clincher at the end that makes you want to re-read it with the new insight.

    If it was a longer piece, the waiting to identify would not have worked.

    Well done!

    By Blogger penitentman, at 8/01/2006 08:08:00 AM  

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