Putting Pen To Paper

Pedestrianism

posted by Peter at 7/18/2006 09:28:00 AM

June 21, 2006

I was surprised when I looked out the window this morning...
hanging olive tree there was a tree hanging in the sky. It was doubley strange because, at this time of year, the sky is usally covered in fog so thick it could take all day to burn off.

Was I dreaming? Was my head in the clouds wishing?

Trees have been on my mind lately for another reason. I've been having tingling and numbness in my left arm and fingers. The guy at the local Chinese pharmacy checked my pulse. He assured me it's nothing to do with my heart... he says my kidneys are too weak to support the ulnar nerve in my arm. If I drink his tree bark and dried snake soup twice a day for awhile, that should clear it up... and it is clearing up.

I liked the medicine connection: trees have many arms; snakes have many joints. So, I'm taking this tree theme as some kind of special symbol for the summer. Clear skies ahead hopefully, and, since I often find my head up in the fog above the trees -- maybe a season of keeping my head close to me hear here on the ground too.

I've been making that hear here typo a lot lately... that's because these days, I spend a lot of time hearing new (to me) music in my relentless search for podsafe music on the internet. Podsafe, meaning free to put on my music player, free to listen to, and free to share with friends. You know... without worrying about some big music corporation threatening to sue me for downloading theft.

I need the music...
earbuds I'm really trying hard to get a one hour brisk walk in each day. I love to ramble off in anticipation of the new sounds that will stream through the earbuds I plug into my head, even if they make it hard to keep my head near me here at street level. Today I was daydreaming away on some cool new grooves in hot sunny weather... only 5 or 10 days like this per year here in San Francisco.

It's one of the best cities in the world to just watch and enjoy... even if the earbuds block all the sounds around me. During any day in my neighborhood I probably pass more tourists on sightseeing walks than I do real neighbors. And the tourists, usually earbud-less, look at everything but the traffic. It's a wonder more of them don't get hit in traffic here.

They should teach us about traffic in high school, but they don't. Considering how far above the street my head usually is, I have formulated some very strict laws of pedestrianism, to ensure that my head avoids any moving vehicle that might be taking aim for it. I have never believed in the little white man... You know, the star of the Walk/Don't Walk light. You can get a ticket (moving violation) for setting foot on the pavement anywhere there isn't a little white man saying it's okay. But, the little white man has no eyes, how can he possibly see when it's safe to get on the pavement?

So, without further explanation, here are The Four Laws of Pedestrianism:

You might expect that I don't have much respect for the little white man. He can't do any of these four things, so I don't let him delay me often. The four laws of pedestrianism make my jaywalking safe, I can easily avoid the little guy when it looks like he's going to block my way.

But today I found myself stuck in pedestrian hell with the other pedestrians... I fault myself for this: Had I planned my jaywalking better, I'd still be walking. Instead, I was waiting impatiently to cross a street. When the man finally made his appearance, the pedestrians herded off like sheep onto the crosswalk. One woman was hurriedly leading the way.

They obviously
a city bus hadn't heard of the Four Laws of Pedestrianism. Cautious old me was trying to make eye contact with the nearest driver. That happened to be a bus driver who was far too busy for eye contact. That's because he was still driving through the intersection. He was not jamming on the brakes; he was going to weave through the busy crosswalk, hopefully avoiding as many pedestrians as possible. I thought to myself, couldn't he lose his job for that?

When I looked back at the crosswalk, the hurried woman was still hurrying, still leading the herd across the crosswalk... totally devoted to the little white man. How could she not notice a bus heading right into her? This is not a time to seize your legal rights by boldly marching forward... Just wait for the bus to go through. The weird thing was, nobody else was waiting to let the bus pass either, except me. They were all devotees of the little white man! At the rate that woman was going I figured she'd walk head first into the front left corner of the bus... maybe she'd hit the door. Good thing she wasn't wearing earbuds.

WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I yelled it out as loud as I could and she stopped. She was completely stunned... she was saying "He ran the red light! He ran the red light!" Yes -- and she's very lucky I wasn't off jaywalking somewhere. I'm sure there would have been a few of her pieces to pick up off the pavement had I not been there to shout at her.

I never saved somebody's life before... it's a pretty interesting feeling... it stayed with me the whole day... so much synchronicity... you never know what you might miss if you don't wait for the little white man.

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